Conversations with my Japanese husband

My husband and I have some amusing conversations. It probably has less to do with cultural differences (he's Japanese; I'm Canadian), and more to do with the fact that we are both slightly odd.

"My Wife"

We're sitting on the couch. It's time to brush our teeth and go to bed. My husband gets up and lies on the floor because it's cool (it's summer--late August). So I put my foot against his posterior and give a couple of little pushes to silently tell him:  "C'mon, let's get moving."

He says (in English): "My wife kicks my @$5."


"Mushi"

We got some boiled chestnuts from my husband's uncle. Knowing my fear of biting into one to crack it open only to discover a bug inside, he kindly shelled a bunch for me. Since it was a lot of work, I gave/fed him one of the last peeled chestnuts, and...

Him: Mmmmm...むし (Mushi = Bug)
Me: だからあげた(Dakara ageta = That's why I gave it to you)
Him:ダカラ⁈ (DAKARA?! = THAT'S why?!)
Me: It's protein.
Him: My wife こわい (Kowai = scary>

(Of course there wasn't *actually* a bug inside the chestnut. I split them all apart to make sure they were clean before I started eating them. :P)


"What did you just call me?"

After a dinner time conversation about the difference in pronunciation between "full" and "fool":

Me: I'm full.
Him: I'm fool.
Me: It should be "I'm a fool."
Him: I'm a full fool.
Me: That's right!!
...
Me: ちょっと待って、そういうことを賛成しっちゃってダメじゃない! (Chotto matte, sou iu koto wo sansei shicchatte dame jyanai! = Wait, I shouldn't be agreeing with that, should I?) 


"A 'Normal' Conversation"

This is what passes as a 'normal' conversation between me and my husband recently.

Him: Nya nya nya. (Shall I make the rice?)
Me: Nya〜! (Please, and thank you!)
Him: Nya. わかりました (Wakarimashita = Got it./Understood.)

("Nya" is the sound cats make in Japanese.)


"Terms of Endearment"
My husband is making popping noises with his lips to create a random/unidentifiable tune as he drives.

Me: My strange husband.
Him: My scary wife.

We smile at each other. :)